Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Lessons Learned Late in Life

I was talking to my best friend via e-mail today and realized that much of what she and I say to one another is what I'd love to tell all of my friends on a daily basis. Friendships, regardless of how or where they are borne are our most treasured assets and losing them, any part of them, makes us feel less worthy.

Today's discussion between us was about our "what-ifs". Here's a bit of that discussion:

There have been so many times in my life that I've wandered "what-if". What if I'd waited until I finished college to get married, what kind of life would I lead now? What if Millie had never died, would my husband be the same man I love today? What if he'd never lost his job? Where would I be right now? Every answer leads me to an image of a rather embittered woman, alone and possibly heavily medicated. Every bad thing I think has happened in my life has been God's way of reminding me that my life is truly in His hands. I can push and pull and seek to do my own thing, but at the end of the day, it's really up to Him what ends up happening in my life.

Strange, huh? That we have to go thru so much pain before we finally just give ourselves up to those powers beyond our control who ultimately guide us to a greater existence.

We are best friends because we have always been able to go to each other with our joys and sorrows without feeling like the other is going to hold anything we do or say against us. You've taught me how to be a good friend and I love you every day more and more for that above all else. At the end of the day, what are we worth if we are without friends?

So much of what I am and who I am I owe to those who have shaped my life. At every turn, I find new people who guide me and inspire me. Many of those people I have never met physically. I know them by an online handle, an e-mail address, a picture on the back of their book. Each one has been extremely influential in my life and every day I thank God for each and every one of them.

At the end of the day, what are we worth if we are without friends?