A Life in the Day

While there are dozens of articles on how to help socialize your child with autism, there are only a handful speaking to parents looking to help socialize their autistic adults the same way. As a parent of an adult with autism, I grapple daily with letting go, letting him function without me, and as my husband says, “cut the umbilical” little by little. But while my son is able to coordinate his own transportation to and from work every day, do his own laundry and even check his bank account as he learns to manage his money, he’s not able to retain and maintain friendships that can blossom into love relationships. It’s not for lack of trying. My son is that friend that texts you out of nowhere to “check in.” He’s the friend that knows your interests so well, he’s got them memorized and will show up with the perfect birthday present when he’s invited. There’s the crux of the problem. He’s not always invited. Some of his friends’ parents are as involved in their kids’ lives as we are ...

“Laughter and orgasm are great bedfellows.” ~ John Callahan Laugh every day  — They say laughter is the best medicine and I couldn't agree more.  Laughter releases endorphins , the same ones we release when we exercise and the same ones we release when we orgasm. That euphoric feeling that makes your body thrum, your head clear and your spirits lift, comes from the same place your laughter comes from. So when was the last time you laughed? You may rob yourself of an orgasm (which I don't recommend) but you should never rob yourself of your sense of humor. Without it, life is not just dull, it can be downright unbearable.  “A day without laughter is a day wasted.” ~ Charlie Chaplin Be the master of your own happiness  — I was talking to my daughter about how difficult it is to be a friend at times, especially when we see our friends unhappy and can't do anything to change it. Sure we can crack a joke, tell a funny anecdote, redirect their thoughts to s...

I'm an avid reader but clearly, I need to read more. I need to read faster and I need to be able to count the manuscripts I read for work in my Goodreads challenge so I can complete my goal every year. According to my Year in Books on Goodreads  I've read over 13,000 pages across 47 booksin 2018. You'd think I would be happy with those numbers but knowing that I'd set my Goodreads challenge to 50 books and failing it by 3 titles (which are currently sitting in my “currently reading” list) stings. I’m a habit tracker, a list maker, 🎶a task list taker...🎶 and find it completely satisfying to check off or fill in a tracker with a completed task. Days where that doesn’t happen are usually marked as “frustrating or stressed” in my mood tracker. I need to complete tasks! It’s almost an obsession really. But even while failing to complete the Goodreads challenge for 2018, I was able to achieve my goal of diversifying my reading list. I devoted 2018 to reading more POC a...

If you had to create a playlist that defines your expectation of the year, what would that be? I have several playlists on my phone for different things: Christmas playlists both Spanish and English, Movie Soundtracks both instrumental and not, a writing playlist and two “mindset” playlists. These are the ones I turn to, to start my day or motivate me one way or another.  In 2018, I created the "Abundant Life" playlist; a mostly gospel music list that reminds me to stay centered and live my best life, abundantly.  For 2019, I've decided to stick with my “You Got This” playlist; a playlist I created on my 39th birthday and have been adding to every year through my 45th. It’s a playlist of empowerment and reflection all at once with lyrics that remind me to kick ass and remember who I am with songs like Undefeated by Jason Derulo, Rise Up by Andra Day, and He Lives In You by Lebo M from the Lion King Soundtrack. It’s a playlist I put on shuffle while dr...

Dobby is a 15-year-old mouthy miniature pinscher with cataracts in his eyes, a limp from being run over by a car a decade ago and the heart of a lion... in the body of a puppy. While he barks bloody murder to get anyone to help him down off the couch, he can still jump up to the couch when he thinks no one’s watching. He sleeps a lot now but his ears still perk up at the sound of any crumb hitting the ground and while he can’t really run like he used to, he still canters like a mini stallion on his infrequent walls. He avoids the outdoors if it’s raining, refuses to eat soft foods despite not having most of his teeth and gets in your face to sniff you when he can’t see you, which is most of the time now as his eyes cloud with cataracts. But he still gets playful, crouching down, his butt and tail wagging when he’s offered a snack and prancing around my husband’s buddies while they play cards in hopes of a few table scraps. As I get older and the body aches a...

Photo by Papaioannou Kostas on Unsplash I'm a sucker for friendship stories. If a book has a strong, core friendship that lasts throughout the story, it's a good chance you've hooked me as a reader. Some of my favorite stories are adventure stories where a group of friends help each other achieve an impossible feat or where the main character defeats their nemesis with the help of their friends . Photo by Aman Shrivastava on Unsplash But while good friendships make for good stories, we don't encourage male friendships to thrive beyond childhood, and we don't encourage physical affection between them to extend beyond puberty. We tend to sexualize their bonds instead, creating rifts and establishing an environment of toxic masculinity . We tell our boys to be boys, to stop crying, to stop feeling or showing emotion after they reach a certain age (an age arbitrarily chosen by parents or the community they're raised in, by the way). We teach our boys ...

Continuing my birthday-month blog series, this week, we'll go over the negotiating a Deal Sheet. Also known as the Offer Letter, the Deal Sheet is the first step in your negotiation of a publishing contract. It is usually a one-page document attached to an email, or embedded into the email, detailing what the publisher is offering to publish the work. It is generally received after a phone conversation between the agent and the acquisitions editor (or the acquisition editor and the author) where the deal points are discussed. Deal sheets are not a contract but they are generally a viable offer that a publisher has put on paper for the agent to take to the author and/or approve/reject on the author’s behalf. It details general points (deal points) that the publisher is willing to offer the author in exchange for the right to publish the work. It’s important to understand and review these points well before agreeing to them as these are generally the first opportunity you have ...