Having your a ha moment
 |
| Tree of Life by Hartwig HKD |
Oprah calls it an a-ha moment. That moment when you "get" something that makes you snap your fingers and say, oh my God, that's it! That's what I've been waiting for! I get it! I finally understand!
In his interview with Oprah for her new Next Chapter series, George Lucas said people are always asking him "how do you know what your passion is" and he said, "if you get up to do something in the morning and have breakfast at 7 AM [then look up again only to] realize it's 7 PM then THAT's your passion."
What do I wake up thinking about every morning? In Sister Act 2, when Whoopi Goldberg's character talks to Lauryn Hill's character about singing in the choir when her mother says it's not worth her time, Sister Mary Clarence says, "if you wake up every morning thinking about singing, then you're meant to be a singer, baby!" That quote has stayed with me since I first heard it. I've always struggled with identifying my passion, though. What do I get excited about doing every day? Am I doing it? It's not just what you're good at, but what your heart's desire leads you to do without thought or persuasion. I'm passionate about my clients, their talent and successes. I wake up thinking of ways to help them sell new projects, break into new markets and expand their reach. I lie awake at night thinking about the manuscript, I had to make myself put down so I could get a few hours' sleep and the editors I want to send the work to. I'm passionate about doing a good job for my clients.
Do your dreams and what you're passionate about, include your partner's hopes and dreams? Talking with my husband, I realized we hadn't talked about our hopes and dreams in a very long time and whether what I am excited about interferes with what he is passionate about. We both looked at each other and realized... And vocalized at the same time how we didn't have a unified, defined dream for our relationship and our family. THAT was my a-ha moment. That was the moment I realized I've always chased one dream or another but never really stopped to think if my dream was at odds with my husband's. Thankfully, my aspirations never got in the way of our relationship and we have been good about keeping the lines of communication open between us. Now, I'm more mindful to share my hopes and dreams with him. To vocalize them and ask him to do the same and soon we will sit down and talk about our hopes and dreams for our relationship and our family again.
So what happens when inevitably your head and heart won't agree. Now, I'm a firm believer in having and fulfilling your "heart's desire" but it's important to remember that when you allow your heart to guide you, your head will likely be at odds with it. Our heart is the free-loving, risk-taker that makes us see the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow but our head is usually more conservative. Insecurities pop up, fears grow and the future starts to look grim. That's where balance comes in and for some, balance is not easy to come by on their own. If you have a partner, open up to them about your fears and your dreams. Share the good and the bad while bouncing ideas off of them to keep you off the ledge. Remember though, that no desire can become real without hard work, determination and above all, perseverance!
As I was typing this entry, Morgan Freeman's episode on Oprah's Master Class started and his interview couldn't have come at a better time. "It's not just about having a dream," Oprah Winfrey says at the start of the show, "it's about working to make your dream come true." Here's what I walked away with from his interview about making your dreams come true:
- Let providence be your guide - Your fate lies in that. Even in the most dire of times, providence can show you the fork in the road where you're supposed to take the off ramp. Look at every apparent stumbling block as providence guiding you to where you're supposed to be.
- Declare who you are - don't accept what those around you call you or "title" you to be. Be who you are! Declare it! Then live by that declaration! Don't just fake it, till you make it! You can't fake what you are! You can't fake authenticity! Be your most authentic self!
- Be irreplaceable - make sure no one can do what you do better than you. Believe that no one can do what you do better than you.
- Listen to learn - how can you learn if you can't listen? If you're spending more time shouting at the wind than you are experiencing its melodic sound, you're not learning anything! Spend more time listening to the universe all around you and LEARN from it... then make sure to leave a lesson behind for someone else to hear.
"If you're not living on the edge, you're taking too much space!" — Morgan Freeman
Wonderful insights here, Sari. Considering how my 2011 went, good and bad, I can totally relate to your realizations
ReplyDelete*raises her coffee mug* And here's to a better 2012! In the words of my favorite space movie parody: "Never give up! Never surrender!"
DeleteThank you, Saritza. This is a timely word for me.
ReplyDeleteI've recently finalled in a contest with a time-travel romance and am finally starting to see some success as a writer. But at the same time, my husband and best friend has admitted that he's sensitive to the stigma surrounding romance novels--he says the stigma is that they tend to be percieved as low class or porn for women. He doesn't feel this way personally--he supports my writing--but he grew up in an environment where things like romance novels, drinking any kind of alcohol, and certain kinds of music were considered really bad.
My husband told me if I wrote any other kind of literature, he'd proudly talk about my writing at work with his peers, but what I write being romance, he tends to keep that to himself. Sad sigh.
It's hard, especially because this has come out only recently after I've been committing myself to a career in writing for several years now. But it's sweetly honest, and it has helped me really think about WHY I write. I've learned I don't do it for anyone's approval, not even my husband's. I do it because I have to. I'd be sad if I didn't do it. I'd be lonely without the characters that live in my head. And I'd feel lazy without the constant pursuit for bettering myself as a writer. It's my passion.
I do other things too. I'm also a mom and an audiologist. Sometimes life demands you put your dream 3rd, 4th, 5th, or even 10th, depending on circumstances, but writing romance is a constant for me and will continue to be such.
Thank you for the bit of encouragement!
I found so much to relate to in your comment as my family and background are similar to your husband's and for a while now my family only acknowledges that I represent authors but keep the "romance" as a hush-hush part of the conversation. I've learned to just let it go and not let it hinder me from pursuing my goals and dreams. I love and respect my family but at the end of the day, if I don't love and respect myself, I'm no good to my husband, my children or anyone in my life.
DeleteGood for you to keep writing what you love! Hubby will come around as your success grows and good for him to be supportive, even if a bit quiet about it right now. No great success is achieved without encouragement and support.
Keep pursuing your dreams and working hard for them! You're doing a fantastic job!
I feel very fortunate to be able to work doing something I feel passionate about -- writing. But, also editing and teaching, and helping others reach their dreams. And thank you for your inspiration and support!
ReplyDeleteI've learned the importance to surround myself with people who push me and inspire me to achieve my dream and it's funny because I didn't set out to do that. But the universe, providence, fate, whatever people want to call it, has made sure to keep those people in my life. Very excited to work with you and your career! You inspire me every day!
Delete